In Short #4

What if he ends up doing exactly what he said

and we still end up being alone?

Musings #4

My poems are assortment of rhyme schemes and prose.

Even dead bodies can find the hidden and visible meanings.

But only YOU will find ME in them,

But only YOU will fine YOU in them,

But only YOU will fine US in them.

Hidden in the layers of unrhymed schema.

And then I will know that you have fallen for me on all fours.

It's All In Your Head

Every day you fight for some peace, one more distraction and a little bit more sanity. But things don't come this handy. Every day you have to push a little bit more, work too much for distracting yourself but still you face things which are hard to get through. When life is completely fine it is then when your mind starts finding problems. It is not used to of having everything in control. Strange but true.

It's so hard to explain that you stop telling it to people. It crowds your head too much that it becomes hard to handle. You try everything which people tell you to do in situations like these, read some motivating books, busy yourself, try meditation, exercise, socialize dahdidahdah....
But what actually helps is talking to someone about it.

When you open up without any inhibitions and fear of judgments it is then that you see that the problem is actually nothing but something self made. They help you to caress those dark nooks and crannies which always remain unexplored. When you talk they make you understand how you are damaging yourself more then any other aspect or person in your life.

They should listen like they are your doppelganger. You will see their face soften, for you, for your worries and they will open their own heart making you understand the real problem. They will bring their own past in consideration, will show their hidden treasure of worries and will make you understand this is not new. Things happen for a reason sometimes, for greater good, sometimes they happen for no reason, just to let you feel some things, even if you want it or not.

They have noticed your habits and they know how hard you are trying, behind that smile of yours they can see the daily struggle. They try to bring the best in you by highlighting things you have been ignoring because when in shambles you can only see the negative. They praise you for pulling it through so far with grace. And now all you need is a break. Maybe they are right, all you need now is to stop trying for sometime and let it flow. They won't ask you to go with the flow, they would not want you to stop doing things as this will relapse all the progress you have made so far. But they will surely want that you give yourself a break from all the things you are trying. Maybe you don't need to try that hard at all. Maybe all you need is a little free time to ponder over things.

And the dots link and you feel content. That's all it takes, a small effort, a small talk and it feels done. It feels the world can be conquered. You might get back to where you were even after the talk but still it will help for few days and not getting any help is better than getting some help, passing some days with delight, without worries.

All you need is an ear that listens and not just hear and a heart that feels and not just care.

Musings #3

They will break your heart over and over and over.
But you should remember only broken souls complete the eternal stories.

You will always question why me.
You will try to run away, to escape into the unreal world where no one knows you.

But at the end the solace will be where the eyes are waiting for you and only you.

People say Love comes to those who wait but sometimes it comes to those who make mistakes.

Many people will woo you but it will take courage to woo yourself in those moments and come out of the unending agony of falling and never returning, never rising and never evolving.

It takes courage to say that you have been wronged and not be angry.

It's fine at the end to let go.

Some people come only to let you feel how it shouldn't have been.

Some people will return making new promises.

Some people will come just because you are too hard to pass.

Some people will come and make you feel special.

Some people will come and say all that you want to hear.
Some people will say that they miss you.
But it is just the idea of being with you they miss.
They miss being around a fragment of you and not you as a whole.

One day you will find your filter; a deep cleansing will be done.

It would be hurtful to see that you have been in the same loop again due to someone you weren't expecting it from.

But it's okay.

It's fine.

It always is.

And even though it isn't it will be.

As you will let go of toxic people even though you still want to hold on to them.

And maybe you will be content.

Musings #2

He feels right, everyone does.

The question is will he feel right,

all the time.

Will the efforts last for an

unending time.

A time, long enough to break

the game of attachment and detachment.

Will it ever grow beyond? 

In Short #3

He makes me see beyond my own reflection.

Kind of self love through his eyes.

In Short #2

Your past is never left behind.

You carry it everywhere,

just,

not with the same intensity

and heaviness.

In Short #1

When I talk about him,

I talk about him.

When I think about him,

I think about us.

Musings #1

I want to take him out for coffee,

carrying two books.

Different ones.

Rule 1.

We should read in silence.

Rule 2.

Listening to a common playlist.

He might laugh at a joke in the book.

And I will look up for a second,

but he will ask me to carry on.

Rolling his palm,

gesturing that he will explain later.

The day will pass by

and I will have the best of both worlds.