Friday 17 January 2020

That Unwanted Long Distance

It is as fragile as a cherry petal. It is harsh on the heart and soft on the soul. The distance, the unwanted paradise of doom touches you.
Where you see people you love interacting, posting, being online yet be so far from you.
You are in touch, though it's a myth of another kind.
What keeps you together is a want. What keeps you together is the wish.
Otherwise there is nothing in between. No paradigms.
What you feel in a moment is gone the next. You will never feel that again for them, or you might,
But the moment is lost and also the intimacy.
The intimacy that was holding you strongly for a second, with your eyes closed and your eyes lost and your eyes seeing.
Seeing you both, together, back in the time, meeting for the first time, feeling the rush, feeling the calmness.
Those eyes at zenith yet fixed on you. The comfort and the end of time.
The first hugs you feel again now with empty arms. Those satisfy yet leave a thirst of lifetime.
Because never again are you going to feel the same intensity, it will be less or high but never the same. Because the moment is gone.
And you are alone feeling it and never disclosing it because you don't know how many times they feel the same.
You never ask and you never say because you wait.
And the wait is more beautiful then leaving them after you see them after three months.
And when you see them it seems you never left and when you leave it seems you never saw them.
You forget facial expressions but you never forget that sleeping face right next to you with hair clouding the eyes.
That soft movement of their body you feel when you keep a hand on them in their sleep just to be assured that you both are together in this moment.
The pain is gone and will return.
Because long distance is unwanted yet certain.


In Short #5

Sometimes all you need is a break.
Break from shambles.
Break from your outer self,
to heal the broken soul.
And breaks are fine.